Big Quitter, No Way!

So this past week I began doing my homework.  It is math.  I hate math, I don't understand math.  I already did this remedial math a few years ago at Weber State University.  So why am I doing it again I asked myself.  I'm in tears and full of frustration.
So my husband asked me "Why are you doing this?"
I answered, to get a degree.
HUBBY: Yeah, but why do you need a degree?
ME: So if anything happens to you I have a fall back.
HUBBY: So the life insurance, the 1 year salary from my work and my IRA's wouldn't be enough for you?
ME:  Yes they would, but. . .
HUBBY:  So why are you doing this to yourself?

It made me take a step back and really look at what I was doing.  I have always wanted a degree, but what would it be good for now?  Would I ever have a career? No.  Would anyone hire me at the age of 56 or 58 when I would finish my degree? No.  Are the frustration and tears worth it? No.  Will this help our family in any way? No.  So I decided to quit.  I thought I would feel like a Big Quitter.  However, all I really feel is peace.  I don't have to worry about getting homework done and having to miss out on family things to get it done.  I can now resume my weekly Temple attendance without having to put it off to do homework.  I can return to my normal scripture study where I can immerse myself in reading if I want, not because I have an assignment due.  I can work on my projects and do those things I love to do now without feeling guilty that I'm not doing homework.

So not I'm not a Big Quitter.  I'm a Mover.  I am moving on to those things that are better for me and my family now.  No I won't ever realize the dream of getting a degree, and that is okay now.  I recognize that there are so many other ways to learn.  I will still read books and instructions on how to do those projects that I want.  I will continue to learn how to cook better and more healthy meals for me and my family.  I will continue to learn and grow but in other ways.  I am happy with my decision.  I am happy with my life.

Depression Update ~

So I have been on the supplements, 5HTP and L-tyrosine for 10 days now and wow can I tell a difference.  It also might be helping that I am off processed sugar and am also drinking Keifer along with a healthy Primal-type lifestyle.  Okay folks there you have it.  I am doing great.  On days that aren't so sunny I am still doing great!!  I can't believe it.  I feel like Rapunzel in Tangled where she is swinging around saying "Best Day Ever!"  Can you believe it in only 10 days.  I am so happy.

I think God places people in places so that they can enter our lives and help us when we need them the most.  He Loves us and wants what is best for us.  So now, I want to be the answer to someone else's needs.  I hope I can be that person that He wants me to be so that I can now return the blessings and do what I need to help someone else out; like paying it forward.

What a great day it is!!

Seasonal Depression

So I thought I was doing good, but apparently I haven't been.  It has been foggy and there has been an inversion in our valley for the past 2 weeks and I hit a wall.  Last Sunday I had a melt down.  I cried all day long.

Luckily I heard from my youngest daughter on Monday.  She is serving a mission in Tallahassee, Florida and she also suffers from seasonal depression.  While on her mission she has had the blessing of working with a companion who's mother is a mental health counselor.  This wonderful woman has put her on some natural herbal supplements that have helped her to overcome this depression.  So through her letter to me and with my being on the computer at the same time we were able to have a conversation where she let me know what she had been doing and what she had been taking.  I was also able to contact this sweet lady and get some information.

So now I am taking these supplements and hopefully they will kick in before too long.  It is snowing today and there is no sun.  But today is a beautiful day and I am grateful.  This week will be busy as I will have the opportunity to watch 2 of my sweet grandchildren and I think that will help.  When I am busy I tend not to be as depressed.  Maybe that is a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father, and that is how I am looking at it.

A New Year, A New Me!

Well, here it is January 6 and I have gotten off to a great start this year!  I am going back to the Paleo/Primal diet that I tried a couple of years ago.  I felt waaay better on it than I have for a long time.  So I am going back and doing it for permanent this time.  My body is a gift from my Heavenly Father and it's about time I started treating it that way.  I have also started working out, and I have to say I am sore, but in a good way.  I want to build my strength back up so that I can do the things that I've always wanted to do, but haven't been in shape to do.

So this is my pledge to myself!  I am going to be a new me.  I like me, but there is room for improvement.  And isn't that what this life is about anyway, improving ourselves?!  I think that is what Heavenly Father wants; for us to become the best that we can so that we can be happier when we return to him and not have regrets.

I am going to hang out with people that are positive.  I am going to make new friends and be the best friend that I can be.  I like this new me.  I am happier being this way.  I like smiling and helping others.  So, this is who I am and who I am going to become.

Happy New Year, Happy New Me!!