Torn, Yearning, Willing, Praying

Here it is August and it's been another month since I last wrote.  The thoughts of my heart today are purely my own.  Today I am crying to my Lord for his forgiveness.  My heart is so full of shame for the sinner that I am.  No I haven't done anything huge that would require incarceration.  But I'm finding it's all of the little things that I do that I truly need to be forgiven of.  It's the daily not-so-nice thoughts that I have, the contentious feelings when I feel I'm wronged, the envyings of my heart.  Today I have great need to know that He will forgive me and that someday I can return to Him.  Oh to be changed of heart and to no longer do those things that would keep me from Him.  And yet he blesses me on a daily basis.  He fulfills my every need and is so willing to show that I am His child.  This is where the shame comes in.  That I could cause my Lord pain through my thoughtlessness and inconsiderate actions.  This day I pray that I will be a new person from now to forever.  One that cares more, is more willing to serve,  shows kindness and charity to those I come into contact with.  That I could be His hands here upon the earth is the desire of my heart.